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Topic starter
14/04/2021 3:37 am
Hello! I have a client who has issues being intimate in relationships because her parents never really showed love. She doesn't have any specific incidents but just a general "no affection" experience growing up. What techniques do you suggest to help her open to being intimate? And how to trust? Thank you!
15/04/2021 8:38 am
Hello Jules, thank you for posting this valuable question. I am sure this issue is more common than we might think.
It might be worth exploring what exactly the issue around being intimate is, and how it plays out, in other words narrowing down the issue to be able to address it more accurately.
Authentic-Self-Empowerment and Open Awareness techniques for example are designed to shed light on how the „no affection“ experience growing up, is affecting your client in present time, which might at the same time come with issues around trust.
There are a variety of other approaches, it depends on what type of training you have undergone and how you predominantly work with your clients.
I once had a client with issues around intimacy and when we explored the exact issue further, she realized that the moment it came to „intimacy time“, she stopped being present in her body and started to have sabotaging self talk about undesirable experiences that she had in the past in similar situations. She could establish a means (through a certain type of breathing) to remain present in her body instead of „disappearing“ into her unuseful thoughts, which helped her to experience a new way of intimacy.
Any other thoughts/suggestions on Jule´s question?
Topic starter
21/04/2021 11:51 pm
Thank you for those two tips, Jana! I am in the middle of my training and am currently seeing practice clients and I'm looking for ways to narrow it down if there weren't really any specific incidents, just a general lack of intimacy. I'm finding that clients who are new to hypnosis don't really reach too deep into the relaxed state so it's more of a guided imagery because I feel like this could be something where ideomotor or past life could come in but not necessarily on lighter levels of trance.
26/04/2021 1:14 pm
Hi Jules and Jana,
Yes, I agree that it is useful to start a coaching process with a specific example in mind. The client must have some reason for verbalizing this block to intimacy. One example can become the gateway to all the other examples - a sort of "spill over effect". If there isn't an actual incident, then even a mental image of such an incident is good. From there the coaching session can unfold.
There is so much guilt and fear and other negative emotions bundled into our experience of intimacy, don't you think?
That trusted and comfortable holding space you facilitate with the client will help them say and share what they may not be able to share with anyone else- how liberating.
I hear you about the deepness of the trance state. But then, we don't need deep trance to help clients change - a light state is often even more effective, especially if there is a cognitive element to their issue, and we don't want them in a less consciousness state where the conscious mind can hide away.
Also, I don't know if this applies in any way to your client, Jules, but I wouldn't be surprised if someone with intimacy fears struggles to go into a hypnotic trance state because they might have trust issues that hold them back, even with the coach/hypnotherapist. A light state like Open Awareness might just be better for them.
Or what do you think?
Hennie
Notifications
Clear all
Topic starter
14/04/2021 3:37 am
Hello! I have a client who has issues being intimate in relationships because her parents never really showed love. She doesn't have any specific incidents but just a general "no affection" experience growing up. What techniques do you suggest to help her open to being intimate? And how to trust? Thank you!
15/04/2021 8:38 am
Hello Jules, thank you for posting this valuable question. I am sure this issue is more common than we might think.
It might be worth exploring what exactly the issue around being intimate is, and how it plays out, in other words narrowing down the issue to be able to address it more accurately.
Authentic-Self-Empowerment and Open Awareness techniques for example are designed to shed light on how the „no affection“ experience growing up, is affecting your client in present time, which might at the same time come with issues around trust.
There are a variety of other approaches, it depends on what type of training you have undergone and how you predominantly work with your clients.
I once had a client with issues around intimacy and when we explored the exact issue further, she realized that the moment it came to „intimacy time“, she stopped being present in her body and started to have sabotaging self talk about undesirable experiences that she had in the past in similar situations. She could establish a means (through a certain type of breathing) to remain present in her body instead of „disappearing“ into her unuseful thoughts, which helped her to experience a new way of intimacy.
Any other thoughts/suggestions on Jule´s question?
Topic starter
21/04/2021 11:51 pm
Thank you for those two tips, Jana! I am in the middle of my training and am currently seeing practice clients and I'm looking for ways to narrow it down if there weren't really any specific incidents, just a general lack of intimacy. I'm finding that clients who are new to hypnosis don't really reach too deep into the relaxed state so it's more of a guided imagery because I feel like this could be something where ideomotor or past life could come in but not necessarily on lighter levels of trance.
26/04/2021 1:14 pm
Hi Jules and Jana,
Yes, I agree that it is useful to start a coaching process with a specific example in mind. The client must have some reason for verbalizing this block to intimacy. One example can become the gateway to all the other examples - a sort of "spill over effect". If there isn't an actual incident, then even a mental image of such an incident is good. From there the coaching session can unfold.
There is so much guilt and fear and other negative emotions bundled into our experience of intimacy, don't you think?
That trusted and comfortable holding space you facilitate with the client will help them say and share what they may not be able to share with anyone else- how liberating.
I hear you about the deepness of the trance state. But then, we don't need deep trance to help clients change - a light state is often even more effective, especially if there is a cognitive element to their issue, and we don't want them in a less consciousness state where the conscious mind can hide away.
Also, I don't know if this applies in any way to your client, Jules, but I wouldn't be surprised if someone with intimacy fears struggles to go into a hypnotic trance state because they might have trust issues that hold them back, even with the coach/hypnotherapist. A light state like Open Awareness might just be better for them.
Or what do you think?
Hennie
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