What I’ve become increasingly aware of is how subtly spiritual bypassing can show up, both in personal practice and in facilitation. It often appears when we give in to the temptation to extract ourselves or our clients too quickly from difficult feelings, rather than staying present long enough to truly hold space for what is unfolding.

What strikes me most is that bypassing rarely comes from a lack of sincerity. More often, it arises from a genuine desire to transcend pain, complexity, or vulnerability, or from a sincere spiritual longing to access higher states of consciousness. The same dynamics can show up in coaching, particularly when spiritual language or practices are used to override difficult emotions, relational wounds or life challenges, rather than supporting their integration.

Becoming more trauma-aware has helped me appreciate how important it is to distinguish genuine transcendence from subtle forms of premature avoidance. This leaves me with some questions: how do we honour spiritual aspirations while staying grounded in the messy, human aspects of experience? And how do we discern this in our work with clients?

I’d love to hear how others here recognise or work with spiritual bypassing in their own inner work or professional practice.

It points to me how the microcosm and macrocosm are enmeshed and one. We are not a drop in the ocean, but the ocean in a drop as the Sufi poet Rumi says. The survival mechanisms we may have put in place when children that caused us to numb ourselves or disassociate from some experience didn’t just have an effect on the thing we were not wanting to experience, but stopped us from experiencing so much more. As we shine light on the shadow the aperture of awareness widens naturally and we re-member who we are. 

Open awareness lets us encourage that natural awareness to greaten. Seeing beyond the labels and identifications. But at the same time allows more strength of the personal expression to be in the world. With compassion, insight and wisdom.

One of the most challenging, yet profoundly liberating, concepts in transpersonal psychology is the idea that our souls enter this life with agreements that each of us, before incarnating, chooses the experiences that will shape our evolution. This is not an easy idea to accept when facing loss. From the human perspective, it seems incomprehensible. How could a soul choose to leave behind a child, a partner, and an unfinished life?

From a transpersonal perspective, physical death is not an end but a passage, a transition from one state of consciousness to another. So could it be that, on a soul level, this was always part of the plan? That his soul, in its infinite wisdom, chose this path, not as a punishment but as a profound lesson, perhaps for all of us? They say we come with an agreement, with a contract, and a purpose beyond what our rational minds can comprehend.

Grief is one of the most challenging initiations we face in this human experience. In the depth of loss, the rational mind struggles to understand why. Why must a soul so full of life be taken? Why does suffering exist? Why does the universe allow families to be torn apart? These are not just philosophical reflexions, but deeply felt existential crises that shake our foundations and our rational minds.

We hope to believe that the soul sees beyond time, beyond attachment and beyond suffering in the way we perceive it here. We hope it sees growth, expansion, and the fulfilment of a higher purpose. A purpose that will only become clear as the journey unfolds.

Our role as a transpersonal coach is not to bypass this pain with empty spiritual platitudes. Instead, we hold space for the paradox, for the HUMAN EXPERIENCE of grief and the SPIRITUAL EXISTENCE of the soul’s journey. We sit with the tension between heartbreak and transcendence, between longing and surrender. Because how else do we reconcile this? How do we hold space for grief while also honouring the sacred unfolding of a soul’s destiny? Perhaps the answer is surrender? Trusting that even this, is sacred? That his journey did not end; it merely changed form. That his wife and child, though left behind in the physical form, are still connected to him beyond the veil. That love never dies, just transcends dimensions.

For those who have lost a loved one: How do you navigate between the pain of absence and the knowing that love never truly dies? How do you explain a young soul to remaining open to the possibility that his dad's soul journey is unfolding exactly as it was meant to?

As a transpersonal coach, I hold space for this conversation, not to provide definitive answers, but to honour the mystery and the paradox of existence itself.

Looking back, I’ve come to see that life’s upheavals are invitations to pause, reflect, and listen. When the ground beneath me felt unsteady, and I was tempted to grasp for control or certainty, the most profound growth occurred when I leaned into the discomfort, surrendered to what I didn’t yet understand, and trusted the process. What I’ve learned is that external validation, security, or recognition will never fill the spaces within us that yearn for something deeper.

As I walked through major transitions, I realized that the power of presence—of honoring the here and now—is where true transformation happens. When we stop chasing what’s "out there" and turn inward, we reconnect with an inner wisdom that was there all along. My journey into transpersonal coaching taught me that healing and clarity emerge not from fixing or controlling life’s circumstances, but from embracing them as teachers.

This shift isn’t easy, but it is expansive. Instead of seeing change as an obstacle, I now see it as an unfolding path guiding me closer to my purpose. I invite anyone going through their own life shifts to explore this question: What if, instead of resisting change, you leaned into its lessons? You may find that the very things you feared losing were the gateways to discovering the strength, wisdom, and purpose that were waiting within you.

In striving to be fully present in the now, we first venture into the woods, poorly equipped. We push through the darkness and density of the forest—sometimes getting lost, sometimes having an a-ha moment that rekindles our eagerness to continue. For those who choose this path, one thing is certain: on the journey, everything becomes our teacher. A teacher is the teaching itself, as well as the one who is being taught. Every light and every shadow nudges us toward peeling off unnecessary layers, becoming more of a dense and pulsating core, more and more clear, pure, and eventually almost transparent—until the very boundaries of the individual self cease to exist. Eventually, we arrive back at the present moment, back to where we already are.

The myth of my life had been listening to the outside, while the only true knower was always within. And when I finally merged with this knower—in complete peace, after my ego had been thoroughly tortured into surrender—I found my answer. Not in words, but in experience: Is there really something beyond?

For years, I had intuitively explored metaphysics and energy practices. Yet, I never saw spirits, read minds, or had dreams that predicted reality. During one of the discourses, Goenka’s voice guided meditating yogis:

"We don’t imagine anything. We work with reality as it is. Only real physical sensations. No imagination. No illusions."

That was the moment I internally decided to stop chasing magical superpowers, striving for extrasensory skills, or forcing the unseen to be seen. I resolved to stop sharing teachings received over the years that, though they made sense and worked in practice, weren’t yet fully embodied within me. From now on, I would only share truth—truth that arises from direct inner knowing.

The moment I made this firm decision, a wave of energy rushed through me, animating my entire bodily structure. I didn’t find myself levitating or anything like that, but I knew. The wisdom was born—just for me, uniquely mine. And that was enough to understand: the door opens the moment I stop pulling on the handle. When I finally allow myself not to know, anything can happen.

"The warrior’s power is in the unknown." Now I understand.

Paradoxically, we receive what we most desperately seek the moment we truly let go of our attachment to it. And yet—how can words ever convey something as sacred as this?

I now understand the power of liminal space, of silent witnessing, of offering guidance through openness rather than direct instruction. Ram Dass, in Be Here Now, described how his teacher never taught through words but simply showed him messages on a small chalkboard, allowing understanding to arise from within.

"What we know is a drop. What we don’t know is an ocean."

I now deeply embody the role we, as transpersonal coaches, are meant to fulfill: holding space in the evolution of consciousness—not by forcing insights but by standing in that perfect balance. Living and breathing at the Zero Point, the Joker Point. Allowing consciousness to meet itself.

The paradox of being, isn’t it?

I would like to share with you about trauma and family therapy and also would like to know yours opinions.

 Unlike physical trauma, psychological trauma comes with a series of consequences that cannot be perceived with the naked eye. The secondary effects of the trauma are actually the ones that are the subject of the therapy with this problem. Trauma is something that happens and cannot be controlled. How you choose to operate on it is actually really important.

Psychological trauma is a type of damage to the psyche that occurs as a result of an attack. It was defined as an event of a very high intensity, which occurs in the individual's life and exceeds his possibilities of adaptation. Generally, this unpleasant event generates an excessive sensitization of the individual to subsequent emotions and a series of extremely harmful effects.

Guilt is a feeling that often follows the traumatic event in which there is victimization. In addition to death itself, everything related to expectations, trust, security, resources can be lost. Guilt is associated with realizing the perception of doing wrong. A person may feel guilty without realizing it. Conscious or unconscious guilt can be an important factor in behaviour, emotions and relationships, and this is just one example of an effect with consequences at the level, not only individually, but also collectively.

Childhood trauma receives special attention in psychology because, if not treated properly or early, it will have long-term effects in adult life. It is an all the more intense and complex problem because children do not have the same defence mechanisms as adults, nor the same possibilities of manifestation. Family therapy in working with trauma initially focuses on what we know as the resilience process. It is necessary for the family to follow a series of steps in becoming aware of, accepting and then managing the effects due to the trauma.

It is necessary to recognize the reality of traumatic events, by clarifying the facts, the circumstances. Then to share the experience of loss and survival, using rituals, the expression of feelings and the construction of meanings. The next stage of the process is to reorganize the family, through redistribution of roles, reconstruction and change. Thus, when the family is ready, it will be able to reinvest in relationships and life trajectories, rebuild new future plans, hopes, dreams and meanings.

From the point of view of communication and problem solving, it is important to operate with clear, consistent information, to have emotional expression and empathetic response, proactive planning, and as a therapeutic attitude, curiosity. The processes or techniques in working with trauma require patience and creativity.

Trauma is an extremely complex issue, precisely because its effects can extend to so many people. The risks are real. Sometimes it is not just the family that is affected, the therapist too can feel overwhelmed. But the answer is always the same: there is life after trauma.

On Earth, there are hundreds of fields that require training and higher education. But for those who feel they are here to share from their hearts, their unique essence, their inner wisdom - this is something that can not be given from the outside. 

Looking out there and comparing yourself to what others are doing, what methods exist today, will keep you from discovering the new way that only you can birth from within. 

The answer is no out there. The answer is in what is most fun and expansive to you. Ask yourself: what feels good, what feels most YOU? Share your voice to  be seen and heard, share your voice to start the change that the world is craving.